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Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
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11:58 am - is anybody out there
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so, livejournal finally let me change my password, so now i know what it is. is anyone still reading this?
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| Monday, March 6th, 2006
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8:19 pm - she's our lucky, she's a star!
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Oh, i love my kids. There's these two guys in first period who sometimes break out into songs like "Lucky" by Britney Spears or that "We're the Jamaican Bobsled team" song. Oi.
And then there was the frozen snickers disaster. i realize that some people prefer their snickers frozen, but it was a pain in the butt for this one kid. I keep track of my kids' birthdays and what their favorite candy is so that i know at least SOMEONE gives them the time of day on their big day!
Anyway, this one guy wrote down "frozen snickers," so hurriedly in the morning, i shoved snickers into a ziploc baggy, and then i shoved that one into a giant gallon ziploc that had two ice trays full of ice in it, in hopes that by the time i reached school, they'd be frozen.
Well, i wasn't sure if they were or not, so i plopped them on his desk for first period. He comes in, looks befuddled at the dogpile of ice and candy and asks, "Um, Miss G, is this yours?"
"No, it's yours. For your birthday."
::blank stare::
"Frozen snickers?"
He doubled over, laughing. "Frozen snickers--I meant the ICE CREAM snickers!"
::sigh::
Ah well. Now that guy is volunteering in Biloxi. Such a great kid. So Enlightened and aware. On his recent trip to New York for an Animal Rescue Trip, he stopped by home and came back to visit the class today--he must love us, why else would he willingly come to school at 7:45a.m. when he doesn't have to?
I paused class for a day and had a discussion about how the current education doesn't cater to real-world experience; it only embraces theory.
I miss what he adds to class--such original thoughts! Example:
During a Hamlet discussion:
Me: "Do we think that Ophelia committed suicide or died by accident?"
Ben: "I think Ophelia was MURDERED!"
"Murdered?! By who?"
"Gertrude."
"What?!"
"Well, she's the only one who hasn't murdered anyone yet."
He's given me a glimpse of just how much of a basketcase i'm going to be on graduation, when all my little ones leave me. ::sniffle::
current mood:  mellow
current music: "lucky" - of course!
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| Sunday, November 27th, 2005
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11:09 pm - The Sunday blues
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"It occurred to me that anyway one more Sunday was over..." - Camus
My kids would laugh at me if they knew i was quoting The Stranger in my livejournal. Oh, the foreboding nature of a Sunday. You can't really have fun, because there's too much to do, getting ready for Monday. Sundays are only good when Mondays are days off. But even then, there's still a feeling of unrest because, after all, it still technically is a Sunday. Sundays were made for unrest.
Anyway, the Thanksgiving "teaser" break makes me all the more anxious for the delectable two weeks off....coming soon! ::dreamy sigh:: If I don't get a break soon, this is what will happen (kudos to Paul, the devious mastermind)
"All right, kids. Here's what's going to happen. Now, I've taken the liberty of going to the pet store and buying each of you an incredibly cute rabbit. See? Boo-dee-doo-dee-doo, aren't you adorable? Yes you are, yes you are! ::Ahem:: Anyway, here's the deal. If you don't do your homework.....your rabbit doesn't get fed."
See? This is why i need a break. :)
As I do every year, I've been considering what i want for christmas. I found a letter yesterday, packed in with my ceramic gingerbread house that hasn't seen the light of day for years.
This letter was from me, to Santa Claus, in 1990: (grammar errors included--picture the scrawling for yourself)
Dear Santa,
I hope you like these cookies. My Mom Does not want any presents. I give her presents only 3 times a week I think. My big brother (age 11) he hates Christmas, he said that to me. I Am a little girl my room is straight to the end of The hall. My brother's name is Jason.
Signed By,
Nicole
On my official wishlist, I asked for "Barbie, collecter's item Pink huge dress display doll." Yet, I never mentioned this in my letter. I lacked focus. This year is different. This year, I'm considering "experiences" more than "objects."
And i started thinking about how this often happens when you get older--this push for memories over materials--i think it's because kids play with the objects they receive, and make memories for themselves through them. Whereas us old foagies have no time anymore to put on our thinking caps, use our imaginations, and make objects come to life. A blender is just a blender--it's not the Abominable Snowman's forbidden weapon of destruction, wreaking havoc across the countryside on fragile, Claymation lives.
What happened to imagination?
I got this idea for an activity to do for "The DaVinci Code" for my students tonight. And right after I had it, i got so excited to create it, and then i became so disappointed that it hadn't occurred to me earlier. All day, I'd been online, searching through webquests and articles, and it finally occurred to me to have my students go on a quest of their own, giving them clues throughout the high school and having fewer and fewer duplicates of clues at each checkpoint, so that only one person can get to the final clue by the end.
It was so obvious--why hadn't i thought of it before? It's exactly what the main characters do--why not do it for my students?
I can only wonder what other opportunities i'm not thinking up because my imagination has been damaged by age.
This smacks of an old Gadfly article from my pal, Mandy Macabre. I'll try to find that document for y'all, my adoring audience. (That means you, Sid.) Unfortunately, only you.
:) kidding.
So now, only one question remains: what's on your wishlist this year?
current mood:  hopeful
current music: Santa Claus is comin to town!
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| Sunday, November 6th, 2005
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11:57 am - Because soon I'll be kicked off for inactivity.....
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So, I'm still alive and kickin--living from weekend to weekend with no life in between. I do love it, though. Despite the no sleep and the whiny kids, I still love it. The weekends need to come sooner, though. This past Friday, I was really at the end of my rope.
On Thursday night, I had stayed at the school until about 8 p.m. getting papers together and things like that. I'd put a lot of time into this stuff, and I was looking forward to Friday to get it all out to the kids.
Friday, this kid (who sometimes interrupts lessons to ask to go to the bathroom) walks in with a bottle of pop. First of all, he's not even allowed to have pop because there's been mice skittering around on the ceiling tiles, but he has it anyway, and he's not in class for five minutes when he spills his pop all over the papers I'd spent all last evening making.
My knee jerk reaction was: "Damn. Ah, well. Better get this cleaned up."
But then the kid does something which lights that Roman candle rage in me.
He starts laughing.
So what do I do? Like any mature teacher would, I take those papers which are now soaked with pop.
And I drip them over his lap.
I know, I know, I really am the pinnacle of maturity. Just another day in the life, i suppose.
Moments like that, thankfully, don't come too often. Memorable moments as of late:
Katherine and I meaning to get a nice dinner and then ending up at Noodles and Company. (But then splurging later on 14 gourmet pieces of chocolate--Getting carded for a square of "Chocopolitan"?
N:"The lime is very vivid."
K: "The champagne chocolate has a nice finish."
N: "The caramel chocolate is a hearty, full-bodied piece of candy.")
Leaf-kicking and tire-swinging with Paul in Carle Park--and subsequently falling asleep on the bench because i've tuckered myself out with actually being outdoors for five minutes
"You're a lamp. Wait, you're the leg lamp from a Christmas Story!" -the one person who actually recognized my costume without any hints
Walking around Lombard with my dad, checking out the little ones' Halloween disguises
Getting a new car!!!--it needs a name! (It's a crimson Corolla, all souped up because, you know, of course corollas need spoilers.)
The best burger ever at Red Robin.
Carolyn, Susan, and I chuckling at the corny old visual-effects of the crows nipping at little kids from "The Birds" on Halloween
Me: "Happy Birthday!"
Nicole: "I'm having a mid-life crisis."
"You're 23."
"I just bought a micro-derm abrasion kit. I have to get rid of my wrinkles."
"Miss G, were you born weird?"
The answer is yes. And I hope i die that way, too.
current mood: pleased
current music: "What would i give to live where you are?"
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| Sunday, September 25th, 2005
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1:01 am - drunken pictionary
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Went to a Tami-licious BBQ tonight and played drunken pictionary. (Blindfolded, spun around, try to draw.)
"Irritable Bowel Syndrome? No? Okay...Covered wagon? Oregon Trail? Wait, YOU HAVE DIED OF DYSENTERY! YES!"
The E2 gang (minus a NYC girl, Carolyn) showed off their drawing talents:
"Penis? Another penis...staring at each other?....Cock-fighting!"
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| Friday, September 23rd, 2005
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4:32 pm - one of those moments....
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My name might be spelled wrong on the ballots, but that doesn't take away from the fact that my juniors nominated me for Homecoming queen.
current mood: ridiculously happy
current music: my summer girl - beck
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| Sunday, September 18th, 2005
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9:59 pm - U of I shenanighans
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On Friday, Liz (lj: mightyliz) and i took a much needed break from teaching our troublemakers and made our way downstate with her boyfriend Dave and Big A, the male Naumann.
The boys bonded in the front with off-key singing to every song ever written by System of a Down, and the conversation Liz and i had in the back went something like this:
Liz: Dave read an article about how the incidence of female bi-curiosity is increasing. Do you think that'll happen to males, too?
Nik: It's happening with females?
Liz: Well, you know, Nik, you've just been really slow to come around. I mean, I've been trying, and you're on the top of the list, but.....there IS a list.
Nik: ::sad clown face with drooping flower::
Liz and i did go closer this weekend:
On Sunday:
Liz: Can i borrow your deodorant?
Nik: Yeah. You could've borrowed it yesterday, too.
Liz: I did.
We patronized Dos Dos (Dos Reales: Part Duex!) and then hung at the Spruce Moose, but the best was yet to come: The Great Pumpkin Fest in Morton, Illinois. With pumpkins and halloween as its main concern, it seems to have been the town i should've been born in. After riding the tilt-a-whirl ("Left! No, right! Quick! Hurry up, damn you!") and the zipper (my very favorite carnival rides!), i feasted on pumpkin chili (yum), pumpkin baked beans (eh), pumpkin ice cream (holy crap yum), and a fried twinkie. That's right. My first fried twinkie.
"Why did you decide to fry twinkies?"
"Because we can!!!"
After our feast and a LONG time to digest it, we waited in line for the Zipper for the second time, only to discover that other people hadn't waited as long for their food to digest.
Nik: You might not want to stand so close. I think a quarter just flew out of one of those cages.
Paul: Huh. That would be vomit.
On the way back, Liz, Paul, and I squished in the back of Liz's compact Chevy and were serenaded by Dave's burps and Andy's quick wit:
Liz, about my hair: I love how you have two spheres. Your head and your hair in a bun.
Andy: It's like the moon orbiting the earth.
Liz: Actually, it's nothing like that.
Nik: It's like if the earth had a goiter.
Andy: Yes. And when the earth gets one, we're counting on you!
Stay tuned for nik v. goiter. Next on livejournal.
current mood: cheerful
current music: the quiet things that no one ever knows
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| Saturday, September 3rd, 2005
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3:07 pm - lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice
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so, one full week of teaching done and i'm still alive. ::sigh of relief:: so, i've been dead to the livejournal world for about two months now. every time i thought of something to write, i would think, 'well, i have to explain everything else that happened to me BEFORE this event!' and then i'd give up before i started. But no matter.
Eventually, you will be regaled with tales from New York City and random events from my summer, but not today. Today is just an entry to peel an orange by. i finally feel slightly at ease for a moment within a month of worrying. Life is good. The students are excellent (i think they might even like me--ee!), my friends are spectacular (though i don't see them nearly as much as i want to), and all is well on the lombard front.
The only thing that keeps tugging on the skirts of my thoughts is the reminder that i'm not yet doing what i really want to do. i want to backpack through europe, live a year in italy to see all the seasons, send postcards from every little diner i eat at across the U.S., write words that people will remember.
And i keep telling myself, 'another day, some time soon.'
and that which tugs simply gets stronger.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: the buzzing of cicadas outside the window
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| Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
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9:46 am - "Closer" by Nine inch nails on the piano--not as impressive as you might think.
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Despite mono, this past week of Niklife has been extravagantly wonderful. To prevent a novella from being written here, I'll adopt the School of Naumann Bulletpoint Technique:
BULLET-POINT #1: Wedding with Chris
My longtime starving artist friend, Chris, invited me to go to his cousin's wedding with him. It was an outdoor gala at his cousin's house. For the vows, the cousin sang a song he wrote to his ladyfriend. You'd think that would be cute, right? Yeah, you'd think that.
Chris' family was spectacular. When you end up talking extensively about cannibalism at a wedding reception, you know you have a good group of people around. Cannibalism really gets a bad rap.
But by far, my favorite piece of conversation was the following:
Chris W: "I looked for coffee. No dice."
Mrs. W: "We're at their house, they have to have a coffeemaker!"
Mr. W: "Back in the day, we didn't have coffeemakers. We just chewed the beans!....Actually, we smoked them....Actually, that was peyote."
BULLET-POINT #2: Ford VIP-ness
Nick took me out for a night on the town as a guest for a Ford Motor Company function. His name was on a list at NBC Tower's parking garage and the show we went to included as many free tasty beverages as we could handle.
Most memorable line of the show (a Frank Sinatra tribute):
"Sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
BULLET-POINT # 3: Birthday Shenanigans
I celebrated my 22nd year of life in the city. I took my posse to a comfy hole-in-the-wall Italian place. Someone told them that it was my birthday, and the thoughtful wait staff brought cake for my entire group. They put my piece in front of me with one burning candle and started singing. I had my head in my hands laughing nervously when all of a sudden, i accidentally laughed my candle out in the middle of the song.
So they had to relight it. Sigh.
After that, we headed to Chicago's premier discotechque, Syn. It was way too posh for us, especially since we paid $100 to get a table. The drinks were strong and the crowd was old, but the people-watching was phenomenal. Our table was at the edge of the dance floor, aglow with disco lights. I expected "The Hustle" to break out at any second. From "Dancing Queen" to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," we barely sat at our $100 table because we were dancing the whole time.
The thing was, we could have been the worst dancers and not been worried about what everyone else thought because, hey, we're twenty years younger and won't be dying for a long time.
Moment to remember: Guy dressed in tight black clothes dancing without a partner and enjoying himself immensely. ("Dancing with myself oh-ho-o, dancing with myself...")
After Syn, we went to Elm Street Liquors, where I had made reservations for a table (for free baby).
Huge line, walk to front of it.
Equally huge bouncer: Ma'am, you're going to have to go to the back of the line.
Me: I have reservations for 11:30.
Bouncer: You're going to have to step to the back of the line.
I finally get the attention of the other, hotter bouncer I talked to earlier in the week.
Hot bouncer: Come on in, we have a table for you.
eeee!!! And the VIP-ness continued.
At Elm St., the posse (Liz, Dave, Nick, Katherine, Jack, Chris, Dan, Rory) met up with Kate and Steve, and then Bryan showed up a little later. While there wasn't much dancing, there was a much younger crowd.
Most embarrassing moment of the night:
Getting talked into leaving my number for the hot bouncer. Half scribbled in lipstick, half in pen, smeared lipstick kiss on the bottom, written on the back of a keg-return form. Nothing but class. Class and illegibility.
BULLETPOINT #4: Birthday Shenanigans continue the following day!
It was Susan's 21st the following day, so that afternoon, we headed back into Chicago (my 3rd day in a row) and went to Howl at the Moon, a hoppin bar known for its dueling pianos. We got there incredibly early (6p.m.) to get tables (thank god for free), and quickly established ourselves by putting in multiple requests for songs. Since it was so early, it was a more personal, smaller group and the piano players commented about requests they got and about people in the audience.
Susan's birthday girl status was immediately known, and after she commented on how this guy in a blue polo shirt was adorable, I decided to get the ball rolling for her and make a special request. To add the ol' Nik pizazz, I was talked into putting the request between my...ladies...and delivering it that way. The piano player didn't just take it out, he bit it out, and then commented on the originality of delivery method to the entire crowd.
"This song is from the birthday girl to the guy in the blue polo shirt....Let's find him....There he is! Oh, he is quite a catch....All right, this one's for you.....
Well, i guess it would be nice....
if i could touch your body,
i know not everybody has got a body like you,
oh, but i gotta think twice..."
Ah, the sweet sounds of a George Michael cover. Susan requested "You Shook Me All Night Long" for this birthday girl, and Nick also put in a request for me:
Piano Player: "Well, I don't think this is an actual name, but this song goes out to Boobs McGee!"
Not too long afterward, Susan was asked to come on stage and sit with the piano player on the bench. He looked over at her and started tickling the ivory, belting out:
"I wanna have sex with you...I wanna have group sex with you, we all do!"
You could actually see Susan shrivel up. For the rest of the night, no one got as much attention as our favorite newly 21-year-old. We danced, we drank, we helped Susan to the bathroom. The bar kept us going for seven hours straight. I'd go back there anytime.
Right before we left, they played a song we'd requested four hours earlier.
"..You let me violate you...You let me desecrate you..."
That's right, we'd requested Nine Inch Nails for the piano. Turns out, we shoulda just stuck with "Build Me Up Buttercup."
This is Boobs McGee, signing off.
current mood:  amused
current music: closer - NIN
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| Monday, July 4th, 2005
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10:31 am - this livejournal famine must end!
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damn, more than a month has gone by and nothing's been recorded. i wonder how many moments are now lost and gone forever because i haven't written them down to remember.
First day of camp: 6/11/05
Riding to Enchanted Castle with a vanful of kids with the radio blasting, I turn around and spot the normally quiet Eric belting out the new Mariah Carey tune, with Lee and Ben busting moves in the backseat as Eric's back-up.
Day 1 of Learning How to Skateboard: Lesson One - Being comfortable standing on the board. One of my favorites, Nate, lets me borrow his board so i can learn. Taking his hand as he moves me slowly across the pavement on the board, he tells me: "You have the grip of a pregnant lady!"
I haven't been back to work at camp in awhile. I was feeling sick, and then i was feeling sicker, so i went to the doctor and they did some tests:
"Nicole?"
"Yes?"
"We've received the results of your blood test."
"Yes?"
"You've tested positive for the HIV virus. You have AIDS."
"....."
"Just kidding! But you did test positive for mono. We know mono's bad, but it's no AIDS!"
::click::
Actually, that's not how it went down. But if i were a doctor, that's how my patients would get their news. (The people who actually test positive for aids, maybe i'd say, 'turns out you have the black plague.' because nothing's worse than the black plague, right?)
So, anyway, i have mono and the whole 'take it easy' thing is not easy at all! After helping my dad work on a patio he's putting in at home (this 'helping' consists of lugging 50-pound blocks of concrete into a tiny space, seeing it's not lined up with the other blocks, taking it back out, moving stuff around, and then placing it back again, hoping it does line up. and repeating this process 23 times.), i looked up mono on the internet (webmd.com, it's not like monosuck-diddly-ucks.com) and i found that i'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting because i might RUPTURE MY SLEEN!
so i was a like, shit, i don't even know where my spleen is!
to all of this drama, nick commented:
"you know what i just thought of? you know that song, 'how do i live without you, i want to know...' Well, i just pictured you singing that to your spleen."
Fortunately, no organs of mine seem to have declared mutiny just yet, so all is well.
Onto a brighter subject, i think the following moment is snowglobe moment worthy:
I finally got to go to a drive-in movie! Had good company and 'Batman Begins' was better than i thought it would be. During intermission, the drive-in guilts you into getting something from their concession stand because those sales are what makes them stay in business apparently. So i went to go get a Chilly Dilly, because the old 50s commercial for these pickles made me laugh.
When i got to the stand, however, i spotted it: a cotton candy machine. so, of couse, i had to get a pickle AND some cotton candy.
The girl behind the counter looked bored and uninterested in my order, but when she walked over to make the cotton candy and stared to swirl the paper cone around the machine to gather the soft layers of pink, it was like she grew younger in seconds. By the time she picked the finished pink cloud up to give to me, her eyes had a private little-girl-smile that she couldn't help but show on her face too. it was perfect.
:)
current mood:  content
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| Monday, May 30th, 2005
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7:38 pm - What's the buzz, tell me what's a'happenin, what's the buzz, tell me.....
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Several days ago, Nick talked his dad into trading cars for Memorial Day weekend, so on Thursday night, Nick took me out cruising with him in a new white Thunderbird. Oh. My. God. and if that wasn't enough--it has red leather interior.
He and i rocked out to "Wake me up before you go go" with the top down, my hair flying in the wind. I had never felt so attractive, even though i was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. Fortunately, we were cruising around in a town that doesn't have many new Thunderbirds, so we got several looks. Unfortunately, however, there are not a lot of places to cruise around on a Thursday night in Lombard. We may have gone past the Dairy Queen twice, since it was really hoppin'.
In case i had forgotten my first vow of getting a convertible, i renewed that vow on Thursday night. eeee!!!!
Nick and I are beginning to have "regulars" over--people who join our sitcom-esque life every once in awhile. One of these people is Susan.
Nick: The other day, Nik and I went grocery shopping for all this food, but when we came home and put all of it away, we were too tired to cook anything and ended up going to Taco Bell.
Susan: Jesus, you are so old married couple.
(We all eat our food for five minutes in silence.)
Nick: You know, Nik, I think we need to put the chicken in the freezer because I don't think we're going to use it in time.
Susan: AAAAGGH!!!!!
Throughout the night, however, Susan got back at us with her inadvertant pick up lines. She usually doesn't mean to be so come hither, but this particular night, she came up with some great one-liners to get cuties:
"I got new panties. Wanna see?"
and:
"Were you a vaginal birth?"
Ah, Strictly Susan.
I just got back from a bike ride. The sun was about to set, but i couldn't let this gorgeous day get away from me so easily. Here's some reflections:
Memorial Day 2005
He was just talking about how today's transportation--
(we as driver, commander),
does not allow us to examine our surroundings
as much as walking and horse riding once did.
So I take a bike ride and weave back and forth on the prairie path that is so straight and
Midwest flat
that i can close my eyes and still get where i'm going.
As i pass, a dad barbeques while a boy and girl chase chipmunks, scaring them with their shriek-giggles.
I breathe in freshly tarred driveways.
As i pass a training-wheeled bike with pink handlebar streamers being pedaled the other way,
the girl gives me a pumpkin-wide smile and sings "Hi!"
as if her father behind her just said, "Meet your cousin, Nicole-y."
She is there and gone and i look for things i haven't noticed before--
an abandoned stone gateway to nowhere,
two chairs connected to a table in between, big enough for a chess board,
a village gazebo donning the words "Respect" and "Citizenship" near a sign that reads: "Area Under Video Surveillance."
Someone has left a copy of a Commercial Drivers License Study Guide on a picnic table,
and, having run out of room on the few receipts in my pocket,
i tear out a piece of the Guide and keep scribbling.
I glance away from the bank's blinking time and temperature.
My growth of ten feet since i left home lets me know it's time to head back.
The railroad that runs parallel to the path has just received a delivery of railroad ties.
The biggest treehouse in the world could be made with that shipment.
I think I'll leave it in one of the yards around here that doesn't have a treehouse.
Garbage is already neatly lining the streets, waiting for the pick up tomorrow morning.
Someone is throwing away a coat rack and I think about how
these days
I'd get
more use
out of a coat rack
than a treehouse.
I wonder what people would think:
a girl
trying to balance clumsily under her right arm
a coat rack bigger than her bike,
pedaling furiously across the quiet streetlamp town.
current mood: funny, the way things are
current music: You had time - Ani DiFranco
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| Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
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3:41 am - I am trying to break your heart.
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"Driving slowly, watching the headlights in the rain.
Funny how things change.
Think of the good times--
Wishing you were still with me--The way it used to be. Graduation day."
September 16, 1985: Graduated the potty.
June 9, 1988: Graduated from training wheels.
April 2, 1992: Graduated flat-chested bralessness.
July 20, 1993: Graduated my own school of entrepreneurship by selling origami animals to my parents.
March 30, 1995: Graduated from a life without paychecks.
July 8, 2004: Graduated from the Hogs N' Honeys School of Mechanical Bull-riding.
May 10, 2005: Graduated from a lifetime of not looking to see whether or not there was toilet paper in the bathroom before sitting down.
May 15, 2005: Graduated college.
All in all, a small blip on the Record of Golden Achievement. However, it was done with all the pomp and circumstance of a girl who stands, victorious, after having wiped her own butt for the first time.
Ah, the sweet smell of success.
Over the past few weeks, I have received many gifts:
1. An "Outstanding Teacher" ribbon in a note that made me cry (from one of my students)
2. A shower of hugs and kisses (NOT from my students. Come on, people, I'm not Vince.)
3. Part of a personal story from my uncle about Vietnam that he has entrusted me to finish. (yikes!)
4. A new roomie, the other fabulous Nick
5. The knowledge that I am speed dial #5 in Liz's phone.
6. A ticket to the midnight show of Star Wars Episode III: The One That Hopefully Doesn't Suck as Much as the First Two Did.
and last but not least,
7. The realization that, even if I don't get a job in the fall, I'm not a TOTAL failure. (Thanks, Dad :)
But more important than all of these was realizing that I'm just going to get older. I bought a bottle of Windex by accident--I hadn't seen the other bottle hidden behind the unidentified can of 1940s cream of tartar. Therefore, i now have enough windex to get me through about 20 years. i may never need another bottle of windex. That may have been the last bottle i will ever buy. And since the aging won't stop, there's not a moment to waste.
I'm slowly getting my old Nikness back--the familiar urgency, the crazed way of living, the nights spent awake until 5 a.m. which were not possible during the bulk of this last semester.
I'm so glad we had that last week back at U of I. I spent time out every night with friends and on Graduation Eve, I stayed at a bar with good people (some of whom i had just met) until the lights came on; we tottered over to IHOP and ate food that was delicious because it was 2:30 in the morning, made our way over to this random guy's apartment, played euchre and guitar there, and then I wandered home when the sun was rising.
That's going to be my snowglobe memory of college. I'm going to take it, encase it in an airless dome, and shake myself when i need to remember the spontaneous days of talking philosophy until 4 a.m., flying kites when i was supposed to be grading tests, simple conversation when roommates wander in to share the events of their day, and the butterfly suddenness of change that new people can bring.
::shake shake shake::
What a beautiful view. :)
current mood:  quixotic
current music: Wilco
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| Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
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4:02 pm - E2: keepin it oral and participatory. This entry is not for the children.
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My return to Champ-Urb was heralded with a couple of martinis and several good friends. My first night was spent in the lair of Boltini's, whose shadowbox decorations will be sorely missed. The character and mood of that place is just begging to be captured by my future home. Maybe i'll just become an interior decorator instead of doing this teacher business.
the little moments are what i'm going to miss. like today, walking home from 6 hours of a useless class (class during finals week? WHA?!), carolyn and tami and i discussed something near and dear to our...parts.
Carolyn: "Yeah, i hate her. i'd tell her to go shove a stick up her ass and then move it around a little."
Tami: "You know, i was okay with that until you got to the 'move it around a little' part."
Carolyn: "Well, then she could just douche it out."
Tami: "You use a douche in your baby hole, not your ass hole!"
At this point, the guy who's walking in front of us turns around and glares a little.
Carolyn: "Well, then why's it an insult when people call a guy a douchebag? Shouldn't the guy be like, 'yeah, i'm up in that all the time!'"
::gyrates arms and squeezes air as if it was a butt::
and that's how our code for "douchebag" was born. So if you see any of us say, "Hey, check out 3 o'clock" and do the crazy gyrating, you just might be our target. Especially if you're George Bush.
Ah, the little things. The hobo escapades with my love chicken, eating peeps in our pajamas in the grassy Beckman moat at 2 a.m. :)
After Brother's (the bar) last night:
Katherine: "Well, how do i put out the vibe that i'm available?"
Me: "Make sure not to hold your drink with two hands. Always one, so that your torso is available for viewing. Think boobs."
Katherine: "You should really write a book."
The night before at Guido's (former uppity Two East Main), much craziness ensued and i found out that one of the alternatives for the Illiniwek Chief was........drumroll please......the farmbot!
I'm not exactly sure what a farmbot does, but i'd bet they'd be crazy good at offending a race of people who America has practically decimated.
So far this week, I've done pretty well with my goal of going out every night. Tonight, I'm off to Nick's Three L Party: Lasagna, Lost, and Logo glass. We'll gorge on some lasagna, watch Lost, and then head to murphy's for logo glasses. Not to mention white horse afterward for karaoke!
On the schedule to sing tonight:
"These boots are made for walkin'
and that's just what they'll do.
One of these days these boots
are gonna
walk all over
you."
current mood: saucy
current music: boots are made for walkin
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| Monday, April 18th, 2005
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8:55 pm - Golddigger: like a hooker, but smarter.
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"Miss G, did you get crunked this weekend?"
"No."
"You got crunked! She got sooooo crunked!"
::sigh::
And so another day with my little fratlings began. I figure, at least they consider me cool enough to be partying on the weekends.
A student asked me to write her a recommendation for something or other. This marks #2 for recommendations. I'd like to think that means they like me. Yet, I don't think i'm anywhere near the teacher i want to be.
After the day is through and i'm fighting to stay awake to correct one more paper before going to bed and repeating the cycle, i can only think about how i feel that life is going on without me. things are happening in the world and i feel like i'm not a part of them. maybe i'm considering the world to be Champaign-Urbana, or maybe the world of the condo is just too small of a population to feel like a real world.
i would rather be spending my days reading, writing, talking to people about things they care about, belting out "i want some HOT STUFF baby this evening, i want some HOT STUFF baby toniiiiiight!" in my car, and while drinking coffee with an old friend, getting one of those laugh attacks that prevent you from breathing. that would be ideal.
can i make money doing this? i really need to work on being a golddigger. is that even how you spell golddigger?
sigh, i guess i'm hopeless.
only a few more weeks of student teaching. i have come to the phase of teaching in which my school clothes become the clothes i wear all the time, even when i'm not teaching, although i wanted to prove to myself that i was still a college student, so i went braless in a sweatshirt to Jewel one time.
One thing i learned from being away from the college envrionment: pajama pants are not acceptable body-fodder to grocery shop it.
(i don't know why i said "body fodder." i just thought that "wear" sounded too boring. But now it sounds like my armpit is about to devour my sleeve. MUNCH!)
i just get weirder as the night goes on, folks.
current mood:  curious
current music: garden state soundtrack
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| Monday, April 11th, 2005
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10:32 pm - Cancer and Vibrators!
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Because Monday night was not enough Champ-Urb for me, Susan and I took another pilgrimage to our favorite hang-out. Church. Hah, I said "OUR favorite hang-out," not HERS. heh heh. Oh, don't be mad. Hello, Churchboy!
Susan: So how about dinner?
Asshat: Well, uh, how about church?
If i ever get a dinner replaced with church, i am going to drink that whole damn chalice full, because i'm not getting the obligatory italian dinner bottle of wine!
Anyway, the weekend....some truths were stumbled upon:
Nick (fabes): I've learned that a vagina is not a kangaroo pouch.
Paul: Although we'd like to think you could store your wallet there. Twenty bucks? Yeah, hold on.....
Speaking of which....
Liz: So, over Spring Break, I forgot my....goody bag.....in Moline at my cousins'. When I came back, it was gone. One of three things must have happened: Either the sexually repressed couple found it and threw it away because the Bibles in their nightstand told them to, or my little cousins found it and didn't know what it was....or, my grandparents, who visited there, found it. And didn't know what it was either.
Needless to say, it called for a trip to Fantasy's. Matt was properly awkward and stood no closer than 3 feet to the nipple clamps and candy necklace-inspired G-strings.
It was odd to think that, a mere 24 hours earlier, we were being wholesome kids, walking around the U of I track to raise money to cure cancer.
Everyone who came to Relay for Life was able to see the Michael Jackson-esque stylings of yours truly. The Thriller dance stylings, pervert. And Susan and I stayed for a free talk given by Michael Ian Black--funny when it comes to the Rubix cube, not so much when it comes to just talking. Except i'm going to make his following line my motto: "Well, i'm already going to hell, i figure, why ride coach?"
I'm going to make it to U of I 3 times in two weeks because i think i'm going back down this Saturday. I made a promise to myself last year--if C-Street had their famous party, I would be there:
Katherine: I told my mom about the Studio 54 party at the gay bar on saturday. she's in.
Me: really? that's awesome!
Katherine: yeah, she asked if anyone else older would be there. i told her the drag queens are, you know, gettin up there. she said, 'oh. well, good. then i won't be alone.'
Gotta love Mom Shoges. :)
"What do you do for a living?"
"We don't do, we just are."
....And we are fabulous. Til death do we party!
current mood: amused
current music: a flavor house atlantic - coheed and cambria
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| Saturday, April 9th, 2005
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1:53 pm - so we said "fuck it" and went to champaign for an evening
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Susan and i had planned, on Monday, to watch the Illini-UNC game from Champps, the local sports bar. However, the need to prove to myself that i was still a college student won out, and i decided that, despite the lack of sleep i already had and the looming list of things to do, susan and i would go to champaign for the evening, surprise katherine and matt, watch the game, and riot afterwards.
Although our shouts of "We love Head!" (Luther Head) got the Illini to tie it 70-70 late in the second half, Susan and I did not manage to inspire them to victory. sigh.
Thousands of Illinois students took to the streets; we were too depressed to care about cars. Confused and disappointed, we meandered around Champaign. We weren't happy, so there was no riot. It was unclear what our course of action was to be. What does the losing team's town do? They never show that on the news.
Flynn: You should've started a riot anyway!
Me: We're from the suburbs. We don't know how to.
F: Well, next time, i'll be down there with a megaphone, directing everyone. 'All right people, in three minutes, we will have our first dumpster turned over! Get in position!'
Susan, Katherine, Matt, and I wandered through the quad, watched the fifty or so people climbing on the Alma Mater (really, it only seats one), and then ended up by foellinger, where a guy next to us started chanting,
'Let's start a riot, let's start a riot!'
Me: Sean?
Sean: We need to start a riot, nik.
Katherine: It figures that you would know the person chanting that.
It was like we'd lost a war, just walking around, waiting for the new regime to begin--mandatory powder blue uniforms, not being able to touch anyone for fear a foul would be called--you know the drill.
All in all, a disappointing night, but a great memory. Even though it's not for much longer, I'm still a college student.
current mood: good
current music: sell out-reel big fish
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1:52 pm - hah. so true.
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| Thursday, March 31st, 2005
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12:43 pm - It's been awhile for you and me, my Jive lournal.
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Damn. So many days just went by in a blink.
My spring break could not have come at a more opportune time.
Last night, Susan came over so we could study, cook, and watch a romantic comedy together. We ended up renting "Only You," a movie that I'd only seen the middle of. Turns out, the beginning and end are cute, too. It was an adorable romp about believing in your soulmate and ecking him out of the woodwork.
At the end, Faith (Marissa Tomei), tries to get on a plane leaving Italy, to Boston, because the man she loves is on it. It's about to leave its dock when all the Italians, in a tizzy, call up the pilot and say that a woman needs to get on the plane for love. They cross out the destination on her ticket and write Boston, and dammit, they get her on that plane!
Susan laughed and said, "You know, they'd actually do that in Italy."
and that's when i knew i belonged there.
So, that's the plan.
Step 1: marry rich.
Step 2: live in Italy for a year.
Step 3: live happily ever after.
In other news, random happenings from the rest of the week:
Me: That was a good movie!
Susan: I did.
....she was definitely drunk on taco.
Me (reading off the sign, to the Portillo's guy): I'll have one All-Beef hotdog, please.
Rory: The guys in back are like, 'aw, shit, she ordered an all-beef? damn, we can't give her a 50% beef one now.'
Katherine (at Ballydoyle, the Downers Grove bar and grill): Those cute guys are looking at us! Laugh! Make it look like we're having fun!
Lisa: I hope you're having a relaxing break--reading, writing, watching the one channel that comes in on your TV.....
And, of course, i will never forget Katherine and i watching the Illini game:
Me: I don't think they're going to win. They're down by fifteen!
Katherine: Way to be an optimist.
Me: See, now if they win, i'll be pleasantly surprised. But if they lose, I won't be as disappointed as you will be.
...and then when they made their big come back, Katherine and i screamed at the top of our lungs and do-sie-do'ed around the condo. ::happy sigh::
Time for some more do-sie-do'ing this weekend with all my favorite people :) even those who aren't very interested in basketball. ::ahem matt ahem:: :)
Life is good.
current mood: cheerful
current music: dressed to kill - newfound glory
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| Sunday, February 27th, 2005
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11:50 am - Don't watch The Notebook. You'll end up alone.
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Last night, I had a spectacular rendezvous with my love shack ladies, Katherine and Susan. After watching the 3-minute Napoleon Dynamite dance video and making ourselves dang quesa-dillahs, we decided we needed to watch the Notebook and make smores.
On the way out,
Susan: Wow, I didn't actually believe you when you said you had Napoleon Dynamite boots down here...I'll pay you five bucks to wear these to Target.
Me: Sweet.
Shoving my pant legs into the boots allowed them to not fall off my feet with every step. Just so that Susan got the bang for her buck, I jigged around the Target parking lot and in the lingerie section ala Dynamite boy.
Katherine purchased The Notebook DVD as well as Graham Crackers, and I purchased the equally necessary Peeps lights. (little yellow chicks and pink bunnies! eee!) After Susan finally mastered the "how to open a car door" move, we got back home. Using fondue forks as our sticks, we roasted marshmallows over tea lights--a favorite Nik past time.
And then it was time to fall in love with Noah Calhoun.
A boy who jumps on a moving ferris wheel to meet you and then who hangs precariously from a bar on it until you agree to go out with him on a date, who lies down in the middle of the street to watch the green turn to yellow turn to red, who asks you to dance in the middle of the road (and then dances FLAWLESSLY), who takes you out to a pond with swans in every direction, who doesn't stop loving you after you've gone away--this is what girls hope for because we believe.
To keep the magic alive, we clap our hands. We stay up late, dreaming up our own Noah Calhoun. We vow to never settle. We will end up alone.
This kind of passionate love story is skin-tingling--but it's just a story. And yet no matter how many times we remind ourselves of that, I suspect there is still a little girl in the attic of every mind house, looking out the window. Waiting. A hand on the glass and squinting for the moment when they can fly down the stairs to welcome a certain boydream with desperate arms. The breathfog and quickly fading fingerprints on the cold pane remaining as the only evidence the little girl ever existed.
current mood:  cold
current music: my thoughts
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11:49 am - Hump Hump Hamburger Hump
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This year, Valentine's Day took an unexpectedly nerdy turn after a chinese dinner with Susan.
She made me watch the bachelorette (i was rooting for the good guys, but then the bachelorette ended up picking the tool with the weird lips to stay, and now i hope she picks him so that the other guy is freed up....heh heh) and then we went to Oberweis.
And that is when the nerdiness began. Not only were we the only same sex couple in the ice cream shoppe, but we were also the only people playing chess on those little table games they have.
We battled hard and long. Long enough to make them lock the doors.
"Here's the case for the pieces. Uh....you can put them away when you're done," pimply teenager cashier said, handing us a tupperware container.
.....we ignored the hint and kept on playing for another ten minutes. no one won.
The week strolled by at a torturously slow galumph.
But finally, it was Friday and i was on my way downstate for another last minute trip to my favorite university :)
This time, Rory (of www.rorymakesstuffup.com fame) drove. Rather maniacally, I might add. We discussed my stereotype of boys (Rory: “We’re not all just hump hump hamburger hump.”) And eventually made it down in one piece. Included in the weekend was Carolyn’s party (with a girl who did the Napoleon dance), a lotta bars, and me laughing endlessly about the following situation:
Rory was chucking random junk at me so I would decide what we would do, so in reply, I yelled, “Stop it! You’re like an octopus! Who throws things!”
And in my mind, I imagined this ornery Rory-octopus for a good half an hour.
Oh man. I think you just have to be me.
current mood: um....in it! sheesh.
current music: "in the mood" glen miller
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quixotiknik's journal